Welcome to Miami! Also, Jenna Jameson, and What's it LIke to be Super Hot?

Crissy - from Channel 4 (I assume that's where the gang is broadcasting from) in Miami talked about how excited the city is about hosting the MTV Video Music Awards, nude beaches, stars who frequent their fair city, and how Gloria Estefan sucks.  Bean's in love and wants to hang out with her, but as the others pointed out, he's the last guy to hang out with.

Saddam's Sex Change - The Weekly World News reports that the American government is paying for his sex change.  "I've been a lesbian trapped in a man's body."  Is it so that he can plead insanity, or to avoid death penalty, since no one wants to kill a woman?  "Well, except Rosie O' Donnell."

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful - Bean had to take a red eye flight to Miami, arriving at 7am (minutes before the show started), and the guy sitting next to him had a heart attack!  On the plus side, though, he an supernaturally gorgeous woman sitting near him.   Bean kept an eye on her, and noticed guys staring at and walking near her.  He felt bad for her -- is it a hard life for them, being treated like a zoo animal?  Super hot girls called in to complain that, yes, it is indeed hard.  But at least they get free things!

Jenna Jameson - talked about her new autobiography, her rough life, sex with Marilyn Manson (Bean: "Most of us don't even want to share a cab with him, much less sleep with him"), estrangement from her dad, a homebody life (she's been happily married for a while now), the porn business, and fans ("Don't be creepy.").  She'll be signing her book at Booksoup tonight at 7pm. 

Ralph Showbiz Report

"We were starving when we got here in Mimai last night, and we went to the hotel's sushi place.  Omar went crazy, grabbing the knives, stabbing this woman in the eye, going 'Say hello to my California Roll!', and...what's that?"  "That wasn't me, guys.  I'm back at the studio."  Waaaaa  waa waaaaaaa.

Catherine Zeta Jones has put up bulletproof glass on her house windows.  Not for stalkers, for golf balls! She also wants teach her baby to speak Welsh.  Bean: "Terrible language: sounds like someone choking on a peach pit!"

Brad's Pitt brother Doug says he and Jennifer are planning to adopt a baby.  Doug Pitt.  Snicker.

Scarlett Johanssen no trouble dating older men!  That's the good news.  Bad news is she's currently filming a movie with Woody Allen.  Ouch.

Gwyneth Paltrow (and daughter Apple) will be on Oprah talking about her Sky Captain movie.  Oprah also gave her 100 children's books for her library.  "Titles include:   Men are Evil, Rise Up and Kill Men, and her favorite, Balls in a Jar."  

Beenie Man says people misunderstood his lyrics, which have included: "Execute all the gays." And "Queers must be killed."   Ralph (sarcastically): "How could you possibly interpret those in a negative way??" 

Paris Hilton's returned pet Chihuahua may actually be a fake!  The NY Post, on the other hand, reports that she had just forgotten Tinkerbell at her grandparents' place.

Superfreak tribute, early version: "Hey Ralph, I heard your story yesterday about the Dave Matthews Band tour bus dumping the human waste onto people on a boat from the bridge.  I think the state should rename the bridge.....Pooper Creek!"  Cue music! 

Superfreak tribute, later version:  "Did you see that in the Olympic coverage in beach volleyball, a Brailian woman took a spike right in the face?  There was blood everywhere, and they brought out a stretcher.  At the hospital received a...suture cheek!"  Cue music!

Tomorrow: the band Yellow Card, USC's color commentator, Movie Beat, Pat O'Brien, and Kobe jury selection.

"Omar lifted this girls dress and started punching her in the ass!  He was nuts! And..."  "That wasn't me guys, I'm back at the studio."   Waaaa wa waaaaaa.