7/8 - Nut-apalooza! Also Jennifer Connelly, William Hung, and a Wheelchair Rugby Player

Jennifer Connelly (DING!)
I missed the interview with the devastatingly gorgeous actress, star of the new horror flick, Dark Water. I'll try to recap later today, if no one else does...

1:40 - William Hung
The legendary Idol star talked about his latest CD (his 3rd!), inexplicably called Miracle: Happy Summer from William Hung. He's been performing around Asia, where they also broadcast American Idol. They played a clip of him doing his unique rendition of "Achy Breaky Heart", to which Kevin noted: "That is the best version of Achy Breaky Heart I have ever heard!" So is he going to go on the new FOX show, You Think You Can Dance? William said that he'd like to, but doesn't have time. What's his advice to people out there? "Keep trying, don't give up, and ewentually you will succeed!"

1:55 - Afro Calls

"You shouldn't get Lightning a vasectomy, you should castrate him - that would be funnier! Bean: "You'd be able to tell NO difference in his voice though!"

"Ok, I used to think Bean was the gay one, but Money and Mike now take the cake, man. Gay gay gay gay!" Bean: "You could have offered me $1,000 and I wouldn't do it!" Money: "After Mike and I went to the Erasure concert last night, I feel fine. Hey Mike, remember that time when you and I shaved Lightning's balls?" Mike: "Yeah, that was awesome!"

"Dude, who cares whether Kelly Monaco can dance or not? She's hot and got big natural breasts!" Kevin: "I still can't watch. You know what you have to sit through??"

"Thanks Lisa, now I'm gay. I watched Dancing With the Stars, and I enjoyed it!"

2:07 -Wheelchair Rugby
Murderball won the Sundance Audience Award this year. Mark Zupan is featured in the documentary about quadriplegic rugby players and called in to talk about it. "Were else can you hit someone as hard as you want and get away with it?" He has no regrets about his life, to Bean's admiration. The boys asked about whether there were wheelchair groupies, especially now that he's a Olympian medal winner and movie star. "No, but everything DOES still work down there!" The moive will only beplaying in a few theaters in LA, and by all accounts looks awesome.

3:00 - Vasectomy Horror Stories
I missed it, but listeners called in with their stories of vasectomies gone wrong, to help soothe Lightning's fears. Or not.

3:40 - Lightning's Vasectomy!

The entire procedure was carried live, via webcam, and featured such K&B touches as Little John (a midget dressed in a doctor's costume), Stripper Daisy, and Super Steve trying to eat 2 entire pizzas before Dr. Peter finished the surgery. All of which probably didn't help to reassure Brandi (Mrs. Lightning), who was also in Studio R, by her hubby's side. The Armenian Comedian did the national anthem on his recorder. "Play balls!"

The doctor pulled out the needle. One of the boys noted that "it's only 7-8 inches." Bean: "How about the needle?" They had to do a 2nd injection for Lightning's other sack, to which a sympathetic Kevin noted: "That's a lotta holes in the raisin bag, I gotta tell ya!

Money noticed the snipped-out piece: "Hey, if this is going to be a piece that gets discarded, I got dibs!" Lightning offered him $100 to eat it. "Hm, would it kill me?" Later, Money wondered about gluing it to his eyebrow. Ew!

Money: "I see and smell smoke!" Bean: "Is there a new Pope?"

Halfway through, Super Steve and the doctor were neck and neck. Kevin pleaded: "Doctor, you've GOT to hurry!"

In honor of Lightning's passion for customizing cars, the boys asked, "Hey doc, can you lower him?" They also joked about stealing the doctor's equipment and anesthesia: "Let's take that last needle, so if he needs it, it's not there!" "Yeah, and fill it back with water?" Ha!

Lightning was babbling the whole time, and inadvertantly said some things he'll probably regret later: "I don't handle these situations well. When Brandi got her implants..." Brandi: "Great, just tell the world!" Kevin: "Brandi, leave him! Leave him!"

Kevin, getting the midget to help a lagging Super Steve eat the pizzas: "Go dude. Pull down the mask and help him! I never thought I'd say that..."

The Armenian Comedian told a joke as only he can: horribly!

And he's finished! All went smoothly! They then had Stripper Daisy immediately perform on top of Lightning, to test out his equipment, but he couldn't feel anything. "Congratulations Lightning, you're going to be dead down there for the rest of your life!" The doctor and his hot assitant Danielle were rather perplexed about that part of it.

Good job Lightning, you've done society a great favor! Or at least provided us with an hour's worth of hilarity and hijinks... Hope it heals well!


Monday: a guy who proposed by lightning himself on fire ("And she still said yes!"), Mark Burnett, and the creator of the Hollywood Rock Academy.

Have a great weekend and Don't Bogart That Joint, My Friends!