7/7 - Lightning's Ball Shaving, Ioan Gruffudd, Charlie Murphy, and The Elvis Cup

1:40 - The Elvis Cup
In 1977, when Wade Jones was a lad of 13 years old, he saw Elvis perform. He asked a security guard for a styrofoam cup that he saw Elvis drink out of, which he took home and froze. Cut to this year: when he heard about the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich selling for thousands of dollars on eBay, he defrosted the water in his cup, bottled it up, sealed it, and sold it for $460. Then, he sold an "appearance with the cup" for $3,000! Now he's auctioning off more appearances. See more about the cup at Elviscup.com.

The boys fired up the Hotline to Heaven to see what The King thought of this. He sang for them: "Wiiiiiise men saaaay...only fooools spend money on a styrofoam cuuuup..." "Thanks for keeping my memory alive with this stupid cup. Oh, one more thing - that wasn't water in the cup, man." Ew!

2:00 - Point for Cake!
A listener called in saying how she and her boyfriend argued about pie vs. cake themselves, in Burning Question-style. In fact, he even started using the phrase 'point for cake', for anything he liked. Well, he happened to be an asssistant to Glenn Close on The Shield. She heard him use the phrase, and he explained the whole K&B segment to her, including how Ralph won, and now Glenn Close is apparently going around using the phrase 'point for cake', too! Bean: "That's a great story, and we're going to start using it too! In fact, that's a point for cake!" Ha!

2:10 - Lightning's Vasectomy Doctor
Lightning's vasectomy doctor, Dr. Peter [snort!], called in. So is he regretting volunteering for this? "No." Has he ever killed anyone? "No." Lightning visited him in his office, and said that the guy seems legit. "Unfortunately, his assistant is hot though!" The boys wondered: "Does Lightning's penis look funny? Any 'distinguishing characteristics?'" How would he rank him? "Let's just say, he's a great guy." The boys had fun with that answer: "Oh! He's below average! As in, he's got a great personality!" The doctor also mentioned that Lightning needs to be shaved today, and surprisingly, Money and Psycho Mike both WANT to do the honors! They claim that "it's an empowerment thing," so they can always put him down by pointing out: "Hey, remember when I had your balls in my hand?" The boys decide to do the shaving live, later in the show today.

2:40 - Ioan Gruffudd
Bean refused to believe that his long-awaited Fantastic 4 movie was in fact, a reality, and being released tomorrow! The actor who plays Mr. Fantastic assured him it was so, and talked about his revealing costume ("Every time I walked into a room, you could see why he's Mr. Fantastic!"), his camraderie with Michael "Thing" Chiklis, acting with special effects, Jessica Alba's maternal instincts, doing an American accent, and future sequels. Bean: "If you're looking for something to see this weekend, don't see War of the Worlds - that Tom Cruise is CRAZY!"

3:00 - Charlie Murphy
Eddie Murphy's older brother and Dave Chappelle Show writer/actor/funnyman talked about access to A-list stars during brother's heyday, doing stand-up, the Rick James story ("Is that exaggerated at all?" "Of course!"), guy friends who fight and make up (Lisa chimed in: "Y'all SETTLE it!" to the other's mockery later in the show), and the married life. He'll be performing at the Brea Improv tomorrow through Sunday.

3:40 - Ball Bowl One
Money and Mike competed the First Annual Ball Bowl (don't ask about future ones) for the 'honor' to shave Lightning's nether regions, "if you want to call it that..." Someone pointed out that for them, obviously "comedy trumps gay!" Money: "I want to be able to tell his kids, 'Let me tell you about your dad...'"

They took turns answering ball-related questions, like: How many stitches on a baseBALL? Who compsed the NUTcracker Ballet? Who played Patches O'Houlihan in DodgeBALL? Alan BALL has won how many Oscars?

It ended in a tie, so they get to do a ball each! Ralph: "The first Ball Bowl ends in a tie? This sport blows!"

4:00 - Lightning's Shaving
So, they shave him! Mike prepped Lightning, as he squealed, giggled, and even yelled with nervousness. Of course, much merriment and mockery ensued, with phrases heard, like: "I'm Japaneseing, bitch!" "It's like a forest down there!" And: "Do I dare check if Psycho Mike is excited?" Dave took photos, and even Lisa went in and helped shave! Lightning was very much impressed with her technique. Lisa: "It's because I do it all the time!" Someone: "Shaving your penis??" One of the boys suggested that Lisa give a good feel "the texture" down there, to make sure it was all good. Mike had a tip: "That's traditionally done with the mouth!" Bean: "Hey, how about a prostate exam while we're down there?" Hilarious stuff. Take a listen at Cott's if you missed it!

4:10 - Ralph Showbiz Report

So how clean is Lightning? "He's serving hors d'ouerves off his sack!"

A sad moment last night, John O'Hurley and Charlotte have danaced their last dance. Kelly and her partner won, to only Lisa's interest: "I loved it! That John O'Hurley can dance!"

Lil Kim was sentenced to a year in prison for perjury and conspiracy. Speaking of a black woman's street cred, they made fun of Lisa's comment earlier: "Y'all SETTLE it." Ralph, imitating her: "Yeah YEAH! You a black guest, so I talk like this! Y'all settle, YO! A-ight!" Lisa tried to defend herself: "They like that!"

Is Eva Longoria engaged to Tony Parker? Ralph continued to mock Lisa: "Yo yo, I'm Tony Parker, you wanna play some roundball too?" Kevin pointed out that he's French, so Ralph did his best black French guy: "HUH HUH, I'm Tony Pahkaa! Oui oui!"

Natalie Portman was rerouted by police (oddly made to go over a bridge instead of through a tunnel) because she looked suspicious in her bald head. Weird.

Paul McCartney and his wife are doing a charity thing called Music Clearing Minefields, where they give VIP passes at concerts. Bean wondered: "Does Heather still model at all?" Naturally, that's the cue for Ralph's amputee-model jokes, like Ilene, Bob, and Dwane!


Tomorrow: Lightning's Nut-apalooza! (call them if you can supply them with a medical exam table), vasectomy horror stories, a quadriplegic rugby player featured in Murderball (Ralph: "One of his friends lays in front of the door, named Matt."), William Hung, Movie Beat, Whole Enchilada, and Jennifer Connelly (DING!).