6:12 - The Man Comes Down on K&B Again: Stuff They Won't Let Us Do
CBS corporate lawyers have come down on K&B yet again.  This has happened so often in the last few years that the boys are now devoting this new segment to it - complete with a theme song.  Nowadays they have to submit some bits for pre-approval prior to being broadcast, and lawyers found a recent Sean Connery bit "distasteful" - especially some necrophilia jokes - and wrote them a letter banning them from releasing it. Kevin read parts of the ridiculous letter out loud, and announced their intention to create a website that would contain these "banned" material. He said it was StuffTheyWontLetUsDo.com, but that site seems to be owned by someone else right now.

8:12 - Yvonne Strahovski
The uber-hot actress from Chuck came into the studio and talked about the show's midseason premiere this Sunday.  The boys also confronted her when they heard Adam Carolla bragging that she had told him that he was her type. she demurely declined to comment.

8:40 - Money
Former Sports Guy Money talked about the BCS National Championship Game, the hot Texas and Alabama chicks in town, the NFL playoffs, and why Gilbert Arenas is the stupidest man alive.

9:14 - Ralph Character: Stephen Hawking's Birthday
hanging out with R. Kelly (who could be heard peeing) and David Bowie who sang about it being both their birthdays over and over again. Stephen joined in the song as well. Hilriously, "Steven" was angry when Bean nearly derailed the bit.

9:31 - Michael Cera
Repeated from Tuesday, the actor talked about his latest movie, Youth in Revolt.

The gang was back from the holidays with a new show!

7:10 - Listener Call-In: You Already Broke Your New Year's Resolution
Some KROQ listeners have ALREADY broken their New Year's resolutions, and called in to talk about them. Like: quitting smoking marijuana (a guy lasted less than 5 hours); stopping sleeping around (a guy hooked up with a girl just 45 minutes after midnight); quitting smoking (a guy's dad offered the caller $100 if he stopped smoking for 30 days - the guys lasted all of 30 mins); and to make more money (the poor guy just got laid off, on his first day back!).  They fail.

7:42 - Conveyer Belt of Love
Executive Producer Tom Shelly talked about his reality dating show (on ABC, no less), where guys literally pass by on a conveyer belt, in front of women!  Each guy gets 60 seconds to sell himself, and women hold up either an "Interested" or "Not interested" sign. They then they go on a date and see if it works out. While it sounds awesome, Bean sympathized with being ogled by women like a piece of meat.

8:20 - Victor Fuentes' Awesome 911 Call
Kevin played the 911 call from a drunk 19 year old Compton kid, in which he complains to the dispatcher about having to give "too much infomation and s[beep], man!", calls the dispathcer "homez", and requests that the ambulance turn off its sirens when it approaches his home. Mike tried to get a hold of this Victor guy, but no luck so far. Best 911 call ever:

 

 

 

8:40 - Harvey Levin
Harvey talked about some of the big news that broke over the holidays, like: Brittany Murphy, Tiger Woods' whereabouts (Africa), Charlie Sheen's legal problems (wife wants to reconcile, but the DA has other ideas), and a book that estimates that Warren Beatty slept with over 13,000 women before getting married!

9:18 - Ralph Character: Eli Manning Misses the Playoffs
The Giants missed the playoffs this year, but Eli was still celebrating his birthday yesterday.  When informed that his season was now over, Eli was devastated.  And when he heard that brother Peyton WAS in the playoffs, he flew into a jealous rage and threatened to kill him with his retard strength!

9:30 - Dick Clark's Not-So-Rocking New Year's Eve
Ever since his stroke, Dick Clark's appearance on ABC's New Year's Eve show has been a horribly sad sight. Or hilarious, for some. Bean played clips from this year's show, where he was even more unintelligible than ever, messed up the actual countdown, and then performed a full-scale tongue-involved makeout session with his wife at the stroke of midnight.  Well done ABC!

Today was their last live show of 2009! Thank god, they made without getting suspended this year. (Unlike last year)  Woo!  Kevin was out sick though.

6:40 - Lisa May's QVC Christmas Gift
Lisa's gift this year was a super-annoying, moving, barking puppy.   It barks with joy when you put a bone in its mouth. That's what she said!  Bean was happy that it was less than $20, but Lisa was even less pleased than usual.

7:25 - Adam Carolla

This Week in Rage:

3.  Michelle Obama - Female announces are always saying she's "stunning".  "C'mon, she's just ok - a 6.5 at best. And they're always raving about her arms for some reason - who cares about her ARMS??"

2.  People who are hard to buy presents for - To make it easier to buy presents for people, everyone must have a favorite team, drink, or animal.  "If you don't have one of those things, F you."

1. The Golden Globes Award - The award itself is a golden globe. The actual award should have its own name (like the Oscars). Or else change the award name.  "Stop being lazy Golden Globe people!"

8:12 - Jimmy Kimmel and Santa Karl
Jimmy mocked Bean for his blue hair at Almost Acoustic Christmas, and then Santa Karl recommended a 4 year old to wait until she was 14 to get impregnated, thought a kid sounded gay, and was offended by a girl's request to get a monkey for Christmas.  "That's a HELL of a DANG thing right there!" he yelled.

8:45 - Top 10 "Moments With" of 2009

Psycho Mike went through his list of the top 10 "Moments With" of the year:

10. Bean, to Tom Morello: "Do you...um...I totally forgot what I was going to ask."
9. Bean: "I'm not just talking off the hip here. Or from the hip"
8. Kevin, to Doug Kriegl: "Good reporting Craig!"
7. Kevin:  "Miss Double Dec...ahhhh...Double December ah comes. What happened right there?"
6. Lisa May, commercial: "Super Lotto or Mega Millions plays, or enter into a bogus draw"
5. Kevin: "...that's fake self-dep...defre..whatever"
4. Kevin: "If they start smelling money in the water, they're going to start coming out of the woodwork."
3. Ralph: "Taaaay... That was just some sound that came out of my mouth!"
2. Kevin: "102...102?? Wow."
1. Bean: "Please welcome...Myukuku Hatayoma...there's no way I said that right...Hello, how are you?"

8:55 - Ralph Showbiz Beat
Omar gave a everyone a Chia-Obama.

9:12 - Instant Request: Anthony Kiedis and John Frusciante
So John is leaving RHCP...again.  A listener wondered what a discussion between John and Anthony Kiedis might sound like, and the gang obliged.  The result was a bizarre mix of nonesense songs (all including mentions of "California!"), and nonsense sentences.

9:25 - Top 10 Sound Bites

They played the top 10 K&B sound clips of the year, as voted by the listeners on Kroq.com:

10. the Murder Button
9. Afro Call: is it still rape if she's not surprised?
8. Chewie's growl for ugly chicks
7. Nopey the dog saying "Noooo!"
6. Christian Bale's: Ohhhh, goooood for you!
5. Ralph's "Would You Like to Take That Back" theme song.
4. Bean's favorite, Ed Wynn's "The FBI!?"from That Darn Cat.
3. Keyboard Cat
2. Miss Cleo's "Clocks" clue
1. Tiger Woods' mother-in-law's "What happened!?"

"Best Of" segments will be played over the next few weeks.  For their first show of 2010 (Jan. 4), they are hoping to get the executive producer of their new favorite upcoming reality show: "Conveyer Belt of Love"!

Have a great Christmas/New Years everybody!

Boobs, booze, and a bunch of horny guys - the 2010 Miss DD Pageant was held live at the Slidebar in Fullerton today! Congratulations to Danielle, the handcuff-escaping blond! I'm sure they will post videos and more photos later at KROQ.com.

It was broadcast on a live webcam. I only caught the end of it, and I captured a few stills below.

 

The 2 finalists: Sarah C. and Danielle

 

Sarah C. adjusts herself...

 

A midget is announced as a prize!

 

Danielle is crowned.

 

The crown is officially transferred from last year's Miss DD (Cassandra) to the new one via saliva.

According to Ralph, that is according to both the law AND the Bible!

 

Danielle and her new midget.

 

The midget spanks his new owner.

 

The midget humps Ralph.  Bean is amused. 

 

 

Someone on the official KROQ.com site did a full live blog, which is WAY better than anything I could do. So here it is below.

A few additional notes:

- "Gene Simmons'" song was "Show Me Your Cans"
- Omar was spinning during commercials - he was NOT back at the studio for once
- Petros and Money were also there. During their segment (where they talked about Tiger Woods), the crowd wasn't exactly enthralled.

 

 

Have a great weekend, and don't bogart that joint, my friends!

7:12 - Miss DD Contestant: Alison W
The Hooters bartender and Angelo's Car Hop waitress was still trying to wake up as she talked about getting hit on by Hooters customers and performing her talent: lifting a beer keg over her head 10 times while standing, and then 10 times more while kneeling down, while hula-hooping the entire time!

8:12 - Jason Schwartzman
The actor talked about his buddy Wes Anderson, stop-motion animation, and Fantastic Mr. Fox. He also stuck around to give away Almost Acoustic Xmas tickets in the Wheel O'Celebrity Voices game - where he was one of the voices.

9:19 - Miss DD Contestant: Jessica H.
The world's hottest nurse talked about her love for Robert Pattinson (only in the Twilight movies), and demonstrated her ability to pick up a wine glass and drink out of it...using only her feet!

9:34 - Ralph Character: Senior Sexting
There's a disturbing new trend of "sexting" (sex texting) among seniors. Disturbing to Kevin, that is, because he hates oldie oldsters.  They called up a guy named Clifford at a senior home, and during the conversation, he stopped a few times to sext with his girl things like: "Yeah baby, swallow my Metamucil!" and "Send me your used underwear...or Depends." He was also excited that he can get photo of a close-up of his girl's legs AND boobs in the same picture!  Now everyone else thought Kevin had a point.

6:23 - Dave's Top 10 Live Shows List
In the revamped KROQ.com, Dave recently put out his list of the Top 10 Live Shows that he has seen.  The gang chastised him for inclusion of Britney Spears at #10, while leaving out acts like the Foo Fighters, Metallica, and KiSS.  Dave argued that he had more fun at her show than the others, and stood by his list.

8:12 - The Bravery
The band dropped by the studio and performed live.

8:45 - Miss DD Contestant: Stacy M
You probably remember Stacy M as one of last year's contestants too: she's the one who made her boobs dance during her talent portion!  She's back as a finalist again this year, and demonstrated her new talent: hula hooping while doing a shot.

9:14 - Ralph Character: Bill Belicheck
The Patriots were demolished by the New Orleans Saints in the MNF game last night.  The boys called up their grumpy coach for his thoughts.  At one point, gunshots could be heard, and Bill claimed he was 'firing' some of his players. 

9:24 - Miss DD Contestant: Sarah M

In Sarah's Miss DD entry form, she said her talent was juggling and swallowing knives.  But she admitted that she actually could do neither one.  She explained that it was filled out by a friend who was messing with her.  She also said she tried to learn how to swallow a knife anyway, and had researched it on YouTube.  The boys prevented her from attempting it, with Ralph pointing out that they didn't want her throat to be damaged...with a knife.  Claiming she could juggle, she pulled out some items from her purse, and tried to, but failed miserably. Ralph chastised her for being a lying wench.  She then offered to do cartwheels at the show this Friday. Ralph wondered whether she was lying again.


Tomorrow: more Miss DD contestants, the producer of the show "1000 Ways to Die", the MTV reality show about New Jersey-ians, and why Omar hates the Salvation Army.

 

It's that blessed time of year again - the unveiling of this year's Miss Double D-cember contestants!

7:11 - Petros Papadakis
Petros talked about the suspended Clipper announcers, USC vs. UCLA, and his love for the Ray J reality show.

7:45 - The Butterball Turkey Hotline Call
It's that time of year again!  Bean called up the Butterball Turkey Hotline again to pretend he was having trouble with his turkey - because  he couldn't catch it!  The woman who answered not only played along (suggesting Bean call the by a name), but she also invited Bean to come over to HER house for Thanksgiving dinner! Bean was thrilled, and boasted: "I'm SO gonna nail her!" Ralph compared it to a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, with a happy ending for everyone....so to speak.

8:12 - Adam Carolla
Adam ranted about "Let's Get It On" song lyrics from the 70s and his rules on Thanksgiving food (real cranberry sauce only, no funky pies).

This Week in Rage:
3. Boxing photos - in the Pacquiao/Cotto post-fight statistics, they showed a pre-fight, healthy, determined photo of Cotto above his stats.  Instead, they should him beaten and sad, to make it match his result.
2. Burnt toast - Why do toasters have settings that burn toast? Jacuzzis and heaters don't have settings that burn you. Yet toasters have a Wesley-Snipes-dark setting.
1. Electric knives - How lazy a society are we that we need electric knives?  Also they should invent a knife that butters your bread for you. Or kills your wife!

9:30 - Ashley Green
The hot actress from Twilight: New Moon talked about how they have already finished filming the NEXT Twilight movie (!), handling Twilight mania, Robert Pattinsons' whininess, and Kevin's demand for a lesbian storyline with Bella.


Monday: 3 Miss Double D-cember contestants visit!

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

Sorry for the lack of updates.

Bean was back from his vacation to where he grew up, in the DC/Maryland area.

Almost Acoustic Xmas 2009 has been announced, and has since sold out.

6:25 - Bean's Rental Car Was Stolen...Or WAS It?
Back from vacation, Bean told about how he couldn't find his car in downtown Annapolis. He walked a number of blocks hunting for it, then hired a cab to drive around the neighborhood looking for it, and was also driven around by a cop, before a bike cop finally found it parked one block farther away than where he thought he had parked it.  Kevin doubted Bean's story. He suspected that, knowing Mr. Worst-Case Scenario as he does, Bean immediately reported his car stolen when he didn't see it.
 
6:40 - Seth Green
The actor called in to promote his horrible-looking new movie Old Dogs, starring Robin Williams and John Travolta.

7:25 - Marc Headley, Ex-Scientologist
Marc Headley spent basically his whole life in Scientology, but recently broke away. He has written a book revealing secrets about the organization: Blown for Good – Behind the Iron Curtain of Scientology.  He talked about how Scientology security tried to run him off the road as he left the compound; their human rights abuses; and their policy of disconnecting from families; auditing Tom Cruise (including the search for Tom's wife). 

He also answered listener's questions about their stance on psychiatric drugs (they hate psychiatrists more than anything); whether he thinks they are a religion or a cult (his answer: they're a business); and whether he thinks they are growing or dying (dying - more and more people have been come out with their negative experiences lately).

8:12 - The Friends & Helpers Charity Drive
Kevin's wife Melissa came into the studio to promote their annual Christmas/Hanukkah adopt-a-family/stocking charity drive.  Go to Friendsandhelpers.org to donate.

8:42 - Harvey Levin
Harvey talked about how Michael Jackson's legally doomed doctor is - get this - back WORKING!

9:15 - Miss Cleo Was Completely Inappropriate
Miss Cleo told about how she was working at her day job at a kid's clothing store, when a mom took her her 2 young girls to the dressing room by saying: "Come on girls, let's go get naked."  Without hesitating - and having spent way too much time with K&B - she blurted out a lusty "Yeeeeaaaah!" She was immediately horrified, and assumed she was going to be fired on the spot.  Luckily the mom laughed it off.  The others also admitted that they had inappropriately blurted out other K&B-isms like "BOOOOOOOOOO!" and "Yeah Eric", only to get blank/annoyed looks from other people.



Tomorow: Internet Roundup, storm chasers, Jim Gaffigan, office pranks, and Psycho Mike's conversation with Spencer and Heidi at their book signing...during which Mike was being escorted out by security.

7:12 - Listener Call-In: You Can Only Poop at Home
A What It Do caller yesterday told she was on a date with a guy, and he casually mentioned how he only pooped at home.  If that wasn't bad enough, he then made her go to his home and sit in the for 30 minutes while he visited the restroom!  Omar's brother Eric (yup, he's the one and only "Yeah Eric") also did the same thing, and called in to admit that when he goes to Vegas for the weekend, he won't go #2 for the entire weekend!  When hanging up Omar hilariously told him, "Everything's going to BE ok, all right?"

Listeners called in with their stories: one girl admitted that even going in a hotel, she had to turn on the shower because she was afraid people would hear her (Kevin observed that she must have a megaphone for an ass); one girl admitted she would rather go outside than a place that wasn't her  home; a guy told about a girl he dated whose entire family did the same thing, and even had a code phrase:  "going home". Kevin suggested the phrase, "I'm having a brownout."

7:45 - The Woman Whose Face Was Torn Off by a Chimp
Bean played clips from Opraph's story on the woman whose face was torn off by a chimp.  It sounded absolutely horrific, but Bean he now had his Halloween costume idea for next year.

8:55 - Ralph Showbiz Beat: Carrie Prejean on Larry King
Kathy Griffin joined the conversation about Larry's awkward, then aborted interview with the ever-entertaining Carrie Prejean.

9:12 - Kathy Griffin
Kathy was celebrating Carrie Prejean Day as she talked about her cancelled dancing reality show, her past encounters with Andre Agassi (she thought he was a giant tool because he didn't like her vulgarity - this from a guy who we  just found out was doing meth at the time) and ambushing Barbara Walters while she was peeing.  She'll be performing at the Gibson Amp Thanksgiving, has a holiday CD called "Sucking It for the Holidays", and a book out called Official Book Club Selection (which she'll be signing on Tuesday 7pm at The Grove's Barnes and Noble).  Later, a listener called and told about how she told her boss about Carrie Prejean Day, and he gave her the day off!