Catching up on this week's shows. Sorry, next week will be flaky too. Way too busy in the mornings at work temporarily.

7:12 - Russell Brand
I didn't hear this, but the wild British comedian/personality talked about hosting the VMAs.

7:25 - Mark Thompson, Host of Hole in the Wall
FOX11 weatherman/announcer man extrordinnaire/Bean's Special "Towel Friend" dropped into the studio to talk about his latest show, Hole in the Wall.  It's based on that wacky Japanese show where contestants fit themselves through all sorts of shapes cut into a moving wall. If that doesn't sound awesome enough, get this - one of the 2 teams in the premiere episode this Sunday night consists of none other than our own Dave, Omar, and Intern Beer Mug! They played clips from one of the self-named Team Beer Belly's successful attempts, where host Brooke Burns yelled out - mightily impressed, "All 3 of you filled one hole!"  Psycho Mike noted: "That's not the first time!"

8:05 - Kat Corbett Announcing
Kat Corbett is announcing the MTV VMA Awards!  For advice, she went to the pro, Ex-Mr. Grammy Award Announcer himself - Kevin Ryder. Kevin played examples of what NOT to do, from the outtakes of the disastrous time he announced a few years ago. The boys were supportive of Kat, but admitted that there was a chance it could all go badly.  Ralph wondered how long it would be before the industry finally learned NOT to come to KROQ for these gigs.

8:20 - Ralph's Movie Beat; Ralph Character: Nicholas Cage on His New Movie

Just one major movie is opening this weekend: Bangkok Dangerous. It's a remake of a Thai movie where the character played by Nicholas Cage was a deaf mute. Sadly, Nick is NOT in this version. He plays a hitman whose bosses turn on him, and he in turn goes after them. Ralph's expectations are low. But amazingly Nick himself called in (just after Ralph left the room, coincidentally) and talked about the movie and his haunted house.

8:40 - Bean's Finland Vacation - NOT!
So Bean left a phone message to the gang regarding his long-awaited trip to Finland.  Remember, he spent weeks planning every detail for it, including his visit to the Finnish newspaper history museum, obtaining an international drivers license, and counting the miles between 7-11s (probably). But when he got to the airport, he forgot one thing: his passport was expired! Waa waa waaaaaa.

Sorry, I missed the rest of the show (Andrew Siciliano, I guess). 

7:07 - Game: Omaroke
For tickets to the VMAs, listeners were tortured by Omar singing songs from nominated music videos.
 
7:26 - Tyra Banks is a Whore
I missed most of it, but Kevin played clips from Tyra Banks on America's Next Top Model where - for some reason - she was re-enacting a moose chasing one of her contestants.

8:12 - Money Talks Football
Ex-K&B Sports Guy Money dropped by to preview the NFL season.  They also asked listeners to call in with suggestions for bars where specific teams fans' hang out.  The most amusing call was the guy who recommended a West Hollywood called Fubar, for Cleveland Browns fans. He warned that on the weekdays, it's a hardcore gay hangout, but insisted that on Sundays, it became a hangout for Browns fans.  Of the team, that is!  Not the...well, ew.  Kevin was skeptical about the caller's motives.  

9:08 - Psycho Mike's White Pants Song
So some people are still questioning the white pants rule. In short, it goes like this: a girl wears white pants is willing to take it in the rear. Well, to make things really clear, they played a new song by Psycho Mike that explains it all, set to the tune of "Dance Dance".

9:21 - Ralph Character: Michael Jackson Dating Pam Anderson??
Ralph mentioned a news story that Michael Jackson is now dating...PAM ANDERSON!  They called him up to find out more. He bragged about all the ways he has had his way with Pam - not very convincingly.  Even less convincingly, he also boasted about driving a boat with his weiner.

 

6:40 - The Montly Sustainable Dave Update
It's that time of the month again.  Yup, Dave is still not throwing stuff away like a motherf'er.   But shockingly, his fame seems to be growing by bounds.  For instance, when he visited the Museum of Trash in Connecticut (with his kids), the supervisor knew who he was and gave him the VIP treatment! He'll also be teaching a seminar at Peace Jam - along with 7 Nobel laureates, and giving a seminar on sustainability at Chico State. Ralph and Kevin, however, chastised him for bringing his kids to the trash museum, and also considered calling up the organizers of Peace Jam to get him cancelled.

7:08 - Listener Call-In: MexicanMuffinTops.com
I missed most of it, but a mysterious guy named Muff talked about his new website that posts photos of Mexican 'muffin tops' - oversized gals wearing tight pants, causing their tops to spill over the sides. He seemed to have a fetish for them, but the gang was pretty sure that this was by no means a Mexican-only thing.  Regardless, it seems his site has exploded in terms of media attention, after only being up for about a month now.  Listeners also called in with their thoughts.

8:11 - Listener Call-In: Superstitions
Ralph had major problems selling his house for months, due to the economy. His mom gave his some odd advice: wrap a statue of Saint Joseph in a plastic bag, and then bury him in the front lawn of the house. In desperation, Ralph did so, and immediately sold the house. A miracle! Or so Ralph believes: "Saint Joseph closed some motherf-ing escrow!" Apparently, this is a known thing, as Amazon even sells the "Saint Joseph Real Estate Kit" online.

Listeners called in with their wacky superstitions: Don't talk about your bad dream before breakfast or else it will come true; if you want to travel next year, run around your block on New Year's Eve with an empty suitcase; wear something red and metallic to protect your unborn baby from a solar eclipse; and the weirdest of all (shared by Alex and Lisa) - if you put your purse on the floor, the ground will suck away your money!

8:41 - Psycho Mike Character: Bristol Palin
Photos of Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter have surfaced, of her partying pretty hard.  When they called her up, it turned out she was the quintessential rebellious white trash bitch who liked to pretend to be black.

9:09 - Rage Against the Machine Goes Acapella
Rage Against the Machine was going to play at the Republic National Convention, but they got shut down. So they started yelling their protest messages on a bullhorn, and then started singing some songs using only their voices...all through the bullhorn.  Kevin played clips from the very-barebones performance.

9:25 - Ralph Character: Bob Dylan Plays Harmonica
Bob Dylan is now selling harmonicas. Fittingly, on his Theme Time Radio Hour, he played famous songs that have harmonica solos in them. Problem was, none of them actually did, but that didn't stop him from playing his harmonica along with the Coldplay, Flobots, and Metallica songs - his melodies not even close to the actual songs.

Sorry for the lateness of the recaps over the last week.  Super busy at work.

You can always catch the audio clips at the K&B Archive, or Cott's Boom Smack. 

7:15 - The Fantasy Football Documentary
Documentary film maker Josh Caldwell talked about his documentary about the world of fantasy football, called 10 Yards. Interestingly, football fan Ralph hates the idea fantasy football, comparing the game to Dungeons and Dragons for sports geeks. The movie is currently available as a free download.

8:12 - Dave Trains for Nike's Human Race
I only caught a part of this, but apparently they played clips from the made bets on Dave's final time in Nike's Human Race 10k run, happening this weekend. Dave also provided an update on his training, and they played clips from another trainin video with Pscyho Mike.

8:30 - Ralph's Movie Beat

College - High school senionrs visit a college campus and view lots of drinking and crazy party things. Sounds horrible, its commercials look horrible. Ralph damned its makers to Hell. Kevin thought it looked like it had a few laughs.

Babylon A.D. - Vin Diesel in another sci-fi-ish action movie. Could be worse: Vin could be doing comedy. This sounds bad too: he plays a no-nonesense guy named Thorop, hired to escort a girl named Aurora (who comes up with these names??), who posseses the key to saving humanity. "Screw everyone who goes to this!!"

Disaster Movie - Yet another Date Movie/Meet the Spartans parody movie. They played a clip where they parodied a song from Juno that was so bad, they pointed out that Psycho Mike could write a funnier parody song on the spot.   

Traitor - Finally, sweet Jesus, a movie that looks good! Don Cheadle plays a former U.S. Special Ops officer who may either be deeply undercover, or a terrorist. Obviously the pick of the week, although Ralph thought Kevin would probably end up watching College twice - because he forgot he saw it the first time!

9:11 - Don Cheadle
The acclaimed actor called in to talk about his new movie Traitor, in which he plays a deeply undercover special ops agent who may or may not actually be a terrorist.  Amazingly, Steve Martin (yes, the comedian one) came up with the story twist first, and they worked backwards from there.

9:30 - Ralph Character: Canadian Porn
A Canadian TV channel is starting soon that features all-Canadian porn!  Called Northern Peaks, the station's spokesperson went through a list of some of the movie titles they'll be playing, eh:  "Munch-real", "Vancooter", "Toront-O My God That's Big" (an interracial title), "Snow Hos", "The Great White North Goes South", "Hunting for Sasquatch" (for hairy fans), "Skinnin' the Beaver" (for non hairy fans), and "Pourin Syrup on her Flapjacks". SOme hockey-related ones: "Puck You Bitch", "Two Minutes for Hooking", "Face Off On Her Face", "High Sticking", and..."Jammin' the Crease"!

 

Tuesday: Bean is off on his Finnish vacation, but the others will talk to Harvey Levin, and discuss people who hoard animals (Psycho Mike).

7:10 - Ralph Character: The Genital Warts Hotline
You've heard the KROQ commercial regarding the genital warts study. Curious, the boys decided to have Lisa call up the study's hotline to check it out. After navigating through a few menu options, the hotline gave her a rather rude conclusion: instead of giving info about particpating in the study, the voice called Lisa "Slutty McHobag", and demanded that the "promiscuous cavernous whore" re-evaluate her active sex life.

7:25 - The Democratic National Convention
Bean loves the political conventions. Kevin loathes them. Ed Espinosa, California Democratic Super Delegate called in to answer the boys' questions. When he listed all the exciting things they do at the Convention (organizing primaries, foreign policy discussions, workshops, meetings with ambassadors, training sessions, etc.), Kevin hit the buzzer on each one, and noted that if he were forced to go to one, he would prefer to kill himself.  Ed even admitted to missing the Rage Against the Machine concert, making him a total loser as far as Kevin was concerned.

7:41 - The Car Chase TV Show
For years, the boys have been suggesting a TV channel dedicated to car chases. Well, the next best thing has actually launched: a car chase TV show!  Executive Producer Kevin Dill talked about Biography Channel's Why I Ran, which will be broadcast on Mondays nights at 10pm. In the show, people who tried to run from cops talk about why they did so, and even narrarate their chases play-by-play style. Bean and Kevin can't wait, and predict it will be the best show ever.  In fact, Bean was sad that the show was too late for Emmy consideration this year.

8:12 - Thanks for That Info Bean!
Apparently just as the song before this break was ending, Bean announced to everyone: "I just bought a photo of Audrey Hepburn next to a deer."  This was a perfect example of the lame things that Bean says. Kevin read off his list of other recent examples:

Isn't it weird that Neil Diamond had his first #1 hit this year?
Why is Foreigner so good?
You know what I like? No answer. Special K cereal. Silence. What do you think, Mike?
Why are Rice Krispies so good?
Guys, the sun just came out here. It's so bright. My eyes are watery.
I'm going to the Russian consulate. Kevin ignored him. 2 minutes later: Mike, since Kevin didn't care, I'm going to the Russian consulate.
I'm going to the Museum of the History of the Finnish newspaper. Mike was about to respond, but decided not to when he saw Kevin giving him a scary 'don't you dare' look.

8:27 - Ralph Characters: Voice-Over Audition Tapes
Don Lafontaine, the legendary movie trailer and commercial guy (you know his deep voice booming "In a world where..."), is currently in the hospital with a blood clot in his lung. Other people are applying for his job now, and the boys got ahold of some of the audition tapes. Like from Arnold, william Shatner ("In a....world....where...one man..must..."), Bob Dylan (unintelligible), Sean Connery ("In a world where you're the c[beep]sucker and I'm the f[beep] of the world...", and even Bean: "I--i-i-i-in a worrllld where...why are worlds round? And why isn't Pluto a planet?"

8:39 - Let's Talk About Megan Fox
Megan Fox is perfect. So the boys used that as an excuse to talk about her. Just because.  wonder what she's doing?  They - and listeners - wondered what she was doing at the moment, what kind of panties she wore (if any), and mentioned the latest gossip (apparently in her next movie, Jennifer's Body, she makes out with the blonde chick from Mamma Mia). A listener was willing to punch his mom in face and let his dog get run over in the street...just to say hi to her. A woman who worked in a Beverly Hills dental office said she had an appointment today. Ralph wanted to be the machine that sucked her spit out of her mouth, and noted that he had some bleach for her teeth.  Another guy said he had seen a screening of Jennifer's Body, and the make-out scene was glorious. The boys agreed that this was their best segment ever.  Lisa, however, was put in the basement for disagreeing.

9:12 - Sam the Armenian Comedian's One Man Show
Sam is performing his own one-man show in Glendale this day! Fascinated, the boys called him up to find out more.  Apparently, it consists of singing, jokes, stories, and - yes - ventriloquism; he's been trying to get someone to put it on for 6 years; he has it all memorized in his mind, with none of it written down; and it runs 45 minutes. It is being held at the glamorous...Senior Recreation Center in Glendale...at 10am...on a Thursday. Regardless, Sam is excited. Yes, it will be videotaped. He gave a sample of the show, which featured what the guy pointed out sounded like insult comedy for old folks. Bean was excited, yelling: "Broadway here he comes!"

9:30 - Instant Request: Cruz Bustamante Talking to Mayor Villagraigosa
Someone requested to hear Cruz Bustamante (the guy who touted his weight loss when he ran for Lieutenant Governor back when Gray Davis was having his problems) talk to Mayor Villaraigosa. They did, and the result was hilarious as they sounded nearly exactly the same. While both quoted from Scarface, they decided to become election running mates, but then got into a fight.

7:11 - Game: Hawking the Hits
Everyone's favorite Lou Gerig's disease-stricken, genius astrophysicist read lyrics from Jack Johnson song, the titles of which listeners had to identify in order to win tickets for his UCLA concert.

7:45 - Security Guard Charles' Book
I missed this, but apparently KROQ security guard Charles (who was once a drummer for Little Richard way back in the day), has written a book about his amazing life! Called Don't' Give Up Your Dreams, he came in from his guard shack to talk about it, and his amazingly, positive outlook on life.  Keep it funky now!

8:12 - Mythbusters: The Fake Moon Landing Conspiracy Theory
The host of Discovery Channel's Mythbusters, Kari Byron, called in to talk about their upcoming episode that looks into the theory that the moon landing was faked.

8:26 - Listener Call-In: Encountering Unexpected Public Sex
Bean, while in-town recently to attend Breakfast With Weezer, was in his hotel when the elevator doors opened, revealing a couple having sex!  Bean was thrown and wondered if he should have said or done something. Kevin informed him of the only thing he should have done: take a picture!  They invited listeners to call in with their stories.

A CVS worker came across his co-worker and female boss doing it. Everyone pretended it didn't happen afterwards. A girl saw a couple going at in the pool at a pool party...and got out of the now-nasty pool. The best account (or worst) was the guy who came across 2 bums doing it in a Yum Yum Donut bathroom!

9:12 - The Mother/Daughter Porn Team
Meet Desi and Ellie Fox.   They're a mother and a daughter. Mom is 48, daughter is 21. They also both do porn! They dropped by the studio to talk about their story: the daughter first landed a gig in Miami, when - while running it by her mom - mom asked to join her on the trip!  So the mom applied, and, since the MILF and cougar market is big now, it turned out mom was in big demand. No, sadly, they never plan on doing a scene actually TOGETHER, as that would be gross (to them, obviously), and intend to have separate careers. Although did once share the  same guy in separate scenes on the same day!  They have received big offers to be in the same scene, but have declined. Bean came up with a good rule of thumb: never see your mom's hoo-ha.

The show was broadcast live from Caesars Palace today, the site of the "K&B F* Monogamy Swingers Party" over the weekend - and Omar's surprise birthday party. In fact, most everyone was working with hardly any sleep. Or in Kevin's case, without any at all. So they were in various states of sleepiness, hung over, and/or drunkeness (Again, in Kevin's case, all 3) All except Bean, of course, who had left the party at 9pm!

7:10 - Swingers Party Recap

The gang talked about highlights from the party the night before:

- Every girl was mad at Kevin for calling them fat. Oddly, the one person Kevin talked to most was the biggest girl there! Kevin noted that he had actually brought a scale with him to Vegas, but couldn't bring himself to take it ot the party.  Bean noted that it was the most attractive crowd they've had at any K&B party. But then Bean also left by 9pm.

- Ralph had a couple who was furious that no one else there was into hardcore bondage and bestiality.

- Lots of nudity was going around: apparently, girls were flashing on the Southwest flight over, people were having sex on the plane, Kevin was surrounded by bare breasts on the dance floor at one point, and a girl even threw her dress over his head! Unfortunately, Kevin didn't remember a thing, and even accused them of making it all up. This led into...

7:28 - Game: Does Kevin Know? Vegas Edition
For tickets to Jack Johnson's concert at UCLA, listeners had to guess whether Kevin would remember Vegas-related facts that he *should* know. Things like the name of the mayor of Las Vegas, what TSA stands for, the name of the restaurant they were sitting in, 3 Killers songs, and who stabbed Caesar. In his trashed state, Kevin missed them all, going 0-5. Bean thought it was the best/most entertaining game of "Does Kevin Know" ever.  

8:10 - Internet Roundup By Dave
Another crew member in real bad shape was Dave. He had apparently lost his voice on SATURDAY, and was completely hoarse by this time. Naturally, the boys thought it would be funny to have him introduce the new videos in the Internet Roundup at KROQ.com. Within minutes after he finished, he was fast asleep.

8:26 - The Last Comic Standing Winner
Iliza Shlesinger, the first woman, and youngest, winner of Last Comic Standing dropped by to promote her appearance at Bally's through the 27th. The boys decided to replace Lisa with her for traffic reports. She even did the report, and theh boys hired her on the spot.Lisa said her prayers had been answered.

9:18 - More Swingers Party Highlights: The Guy Who Had Sex on the Plane Ride Over
The boys talked to a party-goer who just couldn't wait until the swingers party - he joined the Mile High Club on the flight over!  He told of how he got his girlfriend to join him (he pushed her into the bathroom), the reaction of the other passengers, and whether they hooked up with any other couples after last night's party (yes). Now THAT's a weekend, right there!

9:33 - Ralph Character: Criss Angel Drops By
Since they were in Vegas, Criss Angel dropped by to talk about the wussy David Blaine and his own Vegas act, where he - of course - talks about his dead dad, and yells "AAAAAAUUUGGGHHH!".  Bean wondered if there was anything he could do for the nearly-comatose Kevin. Criss was stumped, yelling, "I'm not a magician!"

Tomorrow: "Let's Talk About Megan Fox", Harvey Levin, people with f-ed up names, and a mother/daughter porn team!

Catching up on some shows. I'll be really busy at work this week and taking a day of or 2 next week, so it may be spotty for the next 2 weeks or so.  Sorry.

Anyway, you can keep up to date at the K&B Archive.

7:12 - More Swinging Couples
Scary news: Jed the Fish wants to go to the swingers party too! Although he'd be entertaining to have, the boys feared for everyone else at the party. More listeners called in to make their case for attending the party.    

7:31 - Ralph's Movie Beat

What We Do is Secret - As actor Shane West talked abou yesterday, this is based on the true story of the 70s punk rock group The Germs, and includes their ledgendary interview with Rodney on the Roq!

The House Bunny - Yes, this looks utterly predictable but the boys love Anna Faris. AND it's got Katherine Mcphee!  Ralph gave it two boners up.

Hamlet 2 - The funny Steve Coogan stars as a failed actor/drama teacher who writes a sequel to Hamlet. Not only do you have Steve, but also Catherine Keener (ding!), and Elizabeth Shue (ding!)  playing herself! "Looks great."

Death Race - Jason Statham plays a guy who races and, well, there's death. And explosions. And cars with flame throwers.  "How am I NOT going to this movie??"

The Rocker - Rainn Wilson from The Office stars as a drummer gets kicked out of a rock band just as they sign their first deal, but then gets a second chance. Ralph saw this and loved it, citing its heart and humor.  

7:45 - Kevin Smith
I missed this segement, but Kevin Smith dropped by to promote the Crazy 4 Cult art show at Gallery 1988, showcasing odes to cult movies.

8:12 - Anna Faris
Kevin joined the gang in interviewing Anna Faris in The House Bunny.

8:28 - More Kevin Smith
Kevin talked about his upcoming Zack and Miri Make a Porno (and how he successfully and nobly argued before the ratings board  - much like Clarence Darrow - to lower its rating from an NC-17 to an R), his screening of Watchmen (he loved it), and another unnamed movie that he got to screen that he loved (hint: the stars trek in it).

9:12 - Kevin Nealon
Kevin Nealon also dropped in to promote his Irvine Improv gig, the filming of Weeds, working with legends Lee Majors and Albert Brooks ono the show, and his book, Yes You're Pregnant But What About Me? (thoughts on having a baby at 53).


In "What It Do, Nephew", a listener made an Instant Request to have both Jed the Fish and Rodney sing Don't Bogart. The boys obliged.

7:15 - How to Go To College for Almost Free
Author Ben Kaplan called in to talk about his book, which gives tips on how to find and win any of the thousands of scholarships that are out there.  He himself scored about two dozen scholarships, ranging from organizations like the Klingon Language Institute to Coca Cola.  The trick is to target the really obscure ones, like the one offered by The Western Nude Sunbathing Society. Mainly, all you have to do for these is write an essay. Plus, keep in mind that there are plenty of scholarships available for grad school, adult school, kids, women going back to school, etc.

7:30 - Ralph Character: The Gay Mi5 Officer
Mi5 - England's version of the FBI - is now actively recruiting gays. A recruitment officer called in to talk about the things these officers can expect in training, like lessons in how to handle really long, powerful guns, surveillance (and being surveilled), nude hand-to-hand combat, how to be debriefed, and how to swallow and suppress their gag reflex - for cyandie capsules of course!  

8:15 - Kathy Griffin
The comedienne talked about filming My Life on the D List (and her multiple Emmy noms), attending Barack Obama's fundraiser, and Ralph's lack of personal hair care. She also stuck around to interview prospective swinger couples and Ralph's Showbiz Beat.

8:40 - More Swinger Couples
More swinger couples called in to get into the K&B F* Monogamy Swingers Party this weekend, including a guy whose girlfriend was a stripper (!) and a girl who wanted to go, mainly for her boyfriend, who is going to Iraq soon.

9:14 - Shane West
The actor you probably know best from ER talked about his new movie called What We Do Is Secret.   Is it has an curious KROQ connection, as it is about the legendary 70's punk rock group, The Germs.  He plays lead singer Darby Crash, a wild personality who died at the age of just 22. Interestingly, Shane also plays with the real band in real gigs too.

The KROQ connection was regarding their real-life legendary appearance on the Rodney on the Roq show, which is recreated in the movie! They played the clip of this scene from the movie the band, which featured the band abusing Rodney badly by horsing around, giving facetious answers, and cussing, completely flustering poor Rodney. Kevin pointed out that the actor who played Rodney was WAY too lucid compared to the real guy.  It's only playing at the Landmark Nuart and Edwards Irvine University 6.